Zharg DIY Invasions



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Zharg D.I.Y. Invasions

Ever thought how cool it would be to invade somewhere? Ever coveted something you have no other Zhargian chance to get? Ever wanted to be on the TV? Ever worried where you would get that next tank of petrol? Ever been or thought like a redneck?

Zharg D.I.Y. Invasions allow you to realize your dreams with a range of appealing colours, power tools, defective weaponry and friendly fire.  And you can be surer than sure that we will run away with any remaining wealth you might have so you can express your surprise when you "realize" there is nothing left apart from debt.

You will at this stage move to the second phase - realization that someone must pay the bills. This is the time you contact Hand Relief Investment Advisors Inc., Zharg. Remember this is not a game all the family can play but one for which all the family will pay.

Don McRumbastard, Cunt in Charge, writes

Look you asshole, I have invaded more places than you even know about, you meaningless little shit.  Let our Bigotry Department whip your friends into a frenzy. This is all their tiny intellects can handle. Let our Department of Zealots justify everything. Let's mix up religion and politics. Think of it as a turd in whipped cream. As soon as you have a taste for it there will be no stopping you. There will be so much fun that you will have a stiffy for weeks. Remember to award all the good contracts to my friends back on Zharg and I'll make sure you get such a kick back that your hole will be trainer shaped for weeks of Wednesdays.

We'll help you invade a nook or a cranny and even your granny*.

No granny too small. No continent too large.** Invade them all.

Donald Mc Rumbastard, CIC, Zharg D.I.Y. Invasions


*Sorry - too late. Already been there.

** Any governments out there need my help? Just etel me with details of where I can pick up your hard cash.

Information Request Form

Select the items that apply, and then let us know how to contact you.

Send me one part one of your guide "The 123 of D.I.Y. Invasions the Zhargian way". *
Send a photo of your wife in the nude. (Photos of other peoples' wives also accepted for publication.)**
Send all your hard cash to Zharg today. Don't forget to include your bank sort code, account number and PIN code.


* Terms and conditions apply. Mainly the condition of your bank account. And whether we can be arsed to do it.

** Not available for over 70s or in most of Belgium.


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