Sponsored by TurdAuto of Zharg

Buy a useless pile of Eco shite today.

Be a self righteous bastard.  You will no longer be thought of as a cunt. A quality design from Zharg. PS: please send us your cash .       

The Superb Grand Turd Ecotourer




We don't really like making stuff. On the other hand, we do like cash. So far we only found it worthwhile making one product. It has made us eye wateringly wealthy. We would like to make something else just so we can get richer. As soon as we can be bothered and you promise to make something that we can copy, we will get right on to it and make something else. Until then we will keep on making the Zharg Orgasmatron Stimulator even if there should be far too many of them.

We know it will take you very many Wednesdays before you have an idea. You humanoids take so long to do anything worthwhile or interesting - you spent too long roaming the Savannah, looking like the half-arsed apes that you still are and eating giraffe burgers. It's probable that as a result you got a bit screwed up. Please don't tell us. It's in your Universal Social Services report. You may think you are interesting but actually you are a deeply boring species, excepting you, dear Kirstie. You are devoid of new ideas. You are amazed that you can walk and have music in your ears at the same time. You are delighted that you invented air conditioning, tampons and aircraft. Can you really believe that any of these are a major achievement? Zhargians hold that toilet paper is your greatest invention.

Meantime the Zhargian economy goes from strength to strength with further development of  the Universal market for The Zhargian Stimulator. This has allowed Zharg to become the richest planet to ever have existed. (Excluding the Free Republic of South Neasden).

Zharg Stimulator

The original Zhargian Orgasmatron Stimulator. Switch it on and everyone within 10 metres of the Stimulator will have an orgasm within 30 seconds.

Just think what you can do with the Zhargian Orgasmatron Simulator!

Use it in the courthouse, the cinema, the metro, on what you call with some degree of humour "commercial aircraft" (not during taxing, takeoff, turbulence or landing or while hot drinks are being served) and best of all outside of the dinning hall at the old folks' home.

The Zhargian Orgasmatron Stimulator is available in black.

Want to buy?  Send us your credit card details, pin number etc and we guarantee you will receive nothing in return except our thanks which we probably will not bother to transmit except by Etelepathy (see contacts).

For technical details click here: Technical 

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